I was in such a good mood. And then the slightest passive aggressive whatsapp comment from mom set me off. And I've holed up in my room. Crying on and off, not really trying to think. Binge watching BTS reaction videos. Took nearly 6 mg clonotril. Still slept for barely 3 hours.
Promised Hoda I'll help her with her translation project, its not even a lot of work. But I just zoned out. And when I tried to focus, I just started crying. and when I didn't focus and was watching some meaningful BTS lyrical song reaction, I started crying. I woke up at 3.30 am, a mild fever. And started crying.
Also, I spent money dumbly the last few days. Is that a point of concern? I don't know. Especially becuase I have no money or money source. I hate being a leech. I hate being dependent. I hate being me. I hate me.
I read barely a chapter of The Outsider. I don't know what I'll talk to Dr. A in today's therapy session today. But then I have a feeling I'll be an incoherent bluthering snotty faced mess anyway. I probably need a good cry and the illusion of being heard anyway.
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