15 August 2023

Got angry and burst into tears. Got mom a saree for her upcoming birthday and she reacted by pushing it away and whining that i didnt take her to the shopping mall yet. Its true i postponed a couple of time but it is also true that we agreed we are going tomorrow. 

I took back the saree and i will return it. 

Edit: gave the saree back to amma. I have calmed down but still feel an underlying anger. All sorts of thoughts including ideation have come and gone. 

Guilt, like, what right do i have to be to angry at all. I am living off of them. Even today amma have me two lakhs to deposit in ppf amd nps. I am a leech. I have no right to feel hurt.